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Tim Elder's Music Career
with Silent Phlegm
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| Few people realize that before Tim Elder became the greatest MSU fencer, organizer, promoter, and instructor of university history, he spawned a successful music career. It is time that Tim's achievements in this area be revealed to the fencing world: |
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| Tim and Bob with Tim's proud parents |
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| Upon entering college in 1979, Tim met several people who shared his musical vision, and together they formed the death metal band Silent Phlegm. Tim served as lead singer and frontman, and through his rampaging riffs enabled Silent Pleghm to become the first metal group to incorperate an accordian. |
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| It was initially difficult to integrate Tim's accordian shredding with the rest of the band's music |
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| It took several months to iron out all the kinks |
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| The new sound was well-received by the metal underground, and soon Tim was arriving for interviews and appearing at press conferences with his favorite instrument, Bob, the Accordian of Aural Desolation. Together, Tim and Bob began making music history as Silent Rage released their debut album Let's Kick out His Teeth in the fall of '79. |
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| Silent Phlegm's first club gig |
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| Silent Phlegm's second club gig |
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| One of Tim's great strength's has always been his fashion sense |
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| Unpublished photo from an Esquire shoot |
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| The album sold impressively, considering that it was recorded and dubbed — like all Silent Phlegm albums would eventually be — in a living room onto those old blue and red-label K-Mart brand cassettes that some of us are old enough to remember. Though a solid effort throughout, Teeth's most memorable moment was undoubtedly the haunting ballad "Paper Cuts, Lemon Juice (and Memories of You)." |
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| This is the kind of thing your "friends" will do to you if you pass out at a party |
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| The next four shots show Silent Phlegm when they first began to hit their stride, as they were booked for many diverse events |
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| The 1980 follow up, You Smell Bad and Your Mother Dresses You Funny was an even greater success than Teeth due to the unexpected radio play of "Ran Him Through with a Coat Hanger (I Did)." That cult hit caught the attention of record executives at several companies, and as a result Phlegm soon signed a deal to release their next album on the Lizzy Borden/Pretty Tulips label. |
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| Unfortunately, this album would never be released. |
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| Tim and a Lizzy Borden/Pretty Tulips record executive at the doomed deal's signing |
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| The Summer and Fall of 1980 saw Silent Phlegm open for acts running the gamut from Cher and Culture Club to AC/DC and Alice Cooper. Then came the turning point: |
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Tim gets upset with "Marvelous" Marvin Hagler
Though you can't tell from the pic, Tim was wearing Bad Idea jeans at the time |
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Tim and Silent Phlegm present a pair of Tim's undershorts to Alice Cooper
Alice looks excited |
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Tim gives Paul McCartney a furrowed brow
This was taken just before security arrived |
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| In the Spring of 1981, just as Phlegm was about to enter the studio to record their initial Lizzy Borden/Pretty Tulips offering, Tim received a phone call from a San Francisco Bay-area band that was going by the name Metallica. It seemed that the group was about to fire their bassist, and were considering replacing him with a death accordianist rather than another bassist. Tim agreed to fly to California for an audition. Only moments after the test, Metallica conferred and offered Tim the job. Tim spent nearly a week with the band before finally deciding to reject the offer. Though Tim has historically refused to comment concerning this event, Metallica insiders report that in turning down their offer, Tim told the band "Sure, you guys really talk it up now. But you'll sell out one day, just like all the rest. Just like me. Besides, your lyrics are way too cheery. |
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| At PhlegmPhest '81 |
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| At PhlgemPhest '81 |
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| Whatever happened between Tim and Metallica in California that Spring, it seemed to harden Tim's heart towards the music industry. After several failed attempts to produce the sound that Lizzy Borden/Pretty Tulips demanded while maintaining artistic integrity, Tim convinced Silent Phlegm to bail from the contract, which of course led to a lawsuit (eventually dismissed after Tim threatened to flay a lawyer alive with the dull edge of a butterknife). After this time, Tim refused to consider any record deals, and Phlegm went back to hacking up their recordings onto K-Mart tape. |
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| Tim could not always keep his intense inner turmoil fully hidden during the failed Lizzy Borden/Pretty Tulips project, as the following shots show |
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| Once released from the artificial limitations of the recording industry, Tim, Bob, and the rest of Silent Phlegm positively blossomed on their third and most critically-acclaimed project, 1982's Festering Bowl of Dog Snot. One underground hit followed another in cuts such as the subtle warning "Use Turn Signals or Die", the universally disturbing "Old Gym Socks and Swiss Cheese", and, of course, the enduring and endearing "Let Me Be Your Hog." This still-hallowed album showcased the band's growing diversity, and sold nearly half a million copies. In retrospect, Snot could have launched Tim, Bob, and Phlegm into lengendary stardom. |
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| Phlegm lays down the vocals for "Let Me Be Your Hog" |
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| Tim falls asleep at the mike |
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| Sadly, Tim had grown so bitter towards the music industry by this time that he inexplicably left Silent Phlegm at the pinnacle of their career, relegated Bob to his parent's garage, and swore never to pick up an accordian again. From this disheartening tragedy, however, the fencing community gained one of its greatest assets, as Tim from that time forward chose to devote himself entirely to swordplay. |
